The ninth grade explored the topic of jealousy in Parshat Hashavua class this week.
ויצא: ל, א: וַתֵּרֶא רָחֵל, כִּי לֹא יָלְדָה לְיַעֲקֹב, וַתְּקַנֵּא רָחֵל, בַּאֲחֹתָהּ
And Rachel saw that she had not borne to Jacob,and Rachel envied her sister
I asked how many girls had sisters and how many experienced jealousy/sibling rivalry. It turned out that girls could be envious of brothers as well as sisters. Eldest children felt jealous of the younger ones and the youngest ones were jealous of their older siblings. We
wondered, “What is the underlying sentiment that causes jealousy?” The resounding answer was, “It’s not fair!” Sonia Ginsburg said that this attitude was not tolerated in her family. Every child needs something else and you can’t measure one against the other.
A student asked, “But isn’t jealousy still a bad trait?” To answer that, we explored the concept of לשמה vs. לא לשמה, doing a thing for its own sake as opposed to doing it for the sake of something else. If you study Torah because you want to get a good grade or please your parents, that is considered לא לשמה. You are learning in order to attain something that is external to the learning. The Netziv, in the Nefesh Hachaim, explains that Torah lishma is learning for the sake of the learning and the understanding. Chazal tell us:
לעולם יעסוק אדם בתורה ואפילו שלא לשמה שמתוך שלא לשמה בא לשמה
A person should forever engage in Torah and even “not for its own sake”, that from “not for its own sake” he will come to “for its own sake”.
If Torah scholars are motivated by competition, this does not represent the highest level of
learning. But that competition may lead them to a situation where they find that they are enjoying the learning itself .לא לשמה would lead to לשמה. Someone asked: What about the jealousy of Rachel? Was it beneficial competition? Did it lead her the merit of having
children?
The passuk concludes: וַתֹּאמֶר אֶל-יַעֲקֹב הָבָה לִּי בָנִים, וְאִם אַיִן מֵתָה אָנֹכִי
And she said to Yaakov, Give me sons and if not, I am dead.
This struck us as a desperate response of a woman who was in great pain, but it was not the mark of greatness. The Torah tells us that Yaakov became angry and the Ramban attributes that anger to Rachel’s hysterical response. The Ramban says that Yaakov scolded her in order to subdue her and return her to her senses. He concludes:
והנה הצדקת בראותה שלא תוכל להסמך על תפלת יעקב שבה להתפלל על עצמה אל שומע צעקה וזהו וישמע אליה אלקים (להלן פסוק כב)
Behold, the righteous woman, when she saw that she could not rely on the prayer of Yaakov, returned to pray for herself to the One who hears cries and that is, “And G-d heard her (30: 32).
To her credit, Rachel overcame the irrational state instigated by her jealousy. Through a process of self-analysis, she was able to face her reality and formulate tefilot that were worthy of acceptance before Hashem. A relevant lesson....Shabbat Shalom!
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