The Perek of Tehillim that I am going to speak about, is one that, I believe, is extremely underrated. Whenever we say Hallel, it is the one that we quietly whisper to ourselves instead of singing it aloud. It begins with the words אָ֭הַבְתִּי כִּֽי־יִשְׁמַ֥ע ׀ יְהוָ֑ה אֶת־ק֝וֹלִ֗י תַּחֲנוּנָֽי׃ - I love that Hashem hears my voice, my plea. A very standard way to begin a work of praise. However, a few pesukim later, in pasuk gimmel, a glaring question begins to take shape.
אֲפָפ֤וּנִי ׀ חֶבְלֵי־מָ֗וֶת וּמְצָרֵ֣י שְׁא֣וֹל מְצָא֑וּנִי צָרָ֖ה וְיָג֣וֹן אֶמְצָֽא׃ “Surrounding me were the bonds of death, and the torments of Sheol had found me, trouble and sorrow I will find.” David said that he loves that when he called for help, Hashem heard him and saved him from the jaws of death. But then David continues and says that he WILL cry out to Hashem and Hashem WILL save him. It sounds as though he went from being saved, to being grateful, to then knowing that he will eventually be thrust right back into another sticky situation! It isn’t a good thing to say, “I love when you save me, you’re so dependable. I can’t wait for it to happen again!” That implies that you’ll meet more misfortune later on. So how do we
resolve this disjoint?
We notice that in the first half of the pasuk the trouble was finding DAVID - וּמְצָרֵ֣י שְׁא֣וֹל
מְצָא֑וּנִי, that it unexpectedly befell him. Then, the phrase צָרָ֖ה וְיָג֣וֹן אֶמְצָֽא, is a more active expression. To explain this, Radak says that sometimes bad situations find us, but also we - intentionally or not - seek trouble, and go back to old habits and bad influences
Sounds pretty depressing, right?
Well, in fact, this perek of tehillim is actually a happy one! Just like the entirety of Hallel, this collection of verses is said in praise of Hashem, and our victories throughout the generations.
So our real question is: how can such an assertion, once which almost definitionally requires that David will return to times of hardship, be said in exulting praise of Hashem? Malbim Beur Hamilot says that it is a process. A bad plight would fall upon David, but then David would find distress and pain in it. We have the power to manipulate our perspective of an event, for better or worse.
Now, this sounds a lot like pessimism. We shouldn’t invent reasons for disappointment in our lives. That is why David prefaced the words, “I will find pain and trouble” with the fact that it would find him FIRST, that it is real and it is present. He himself says toward the end of the Perek, “הֶ֭אֱמַנְתִּי כִּ֣י אֲדַבֵּ֑ר אֲ֝נִ֗י עָנִ֥יתִי מְאֹֽד׃ אֲ֭נִי אָמַ֣רְתִּי בְחָפְזִ֑י כָּֽל־הָאָדָ֥ם כֹּזֵֽב׃”. “I believe in the hopeful words I am saying now, and it was only when I was distressed that I said that all men are deceitful.” Those brooding, negative thoughts I had when I was suffering were a distortion of reality.
But, at the same time, the only way to change and grow is to identify the real and substantial sources of negativity in our lives.
In the story of Chanukah, we see this message come to life. The Greeks were slowly infiltrating and eliminating the Jewish tradition, trying to dissolve the nation into Hellenistic society. And while many joined the cause - effectively making the Chanukah story a civil war between Hellenistic Jews and the Maccabees - some were able to see the effects of what was going on.
It wasn’t so clear from the beginning: unlike Haman, the Greeks were not advocating genocide. It was easy to say that a philosophical idea was not really a danger. But by threatening the philosophy of the Jews, that was perhaps an even greater danger to our nation’s existence.
So, for the Maccabees to have seen the situation for what it was, was in itself a sign of great strength. Only once you admit to there being a danger, can you fight it. And when this step was taken, חִלַּ֥צְתָּ נַפְשִׁ֗י מִ֫מָּ֥וֶת אֶת־עֵינִ֥י מִן־דִּמְעָ֑ה אֶת־רַגְלִ֥י מִדֶּֽחִי׃ “you saved our souls from death, our eyes from tears, our feet from stumbling”
Something bad may be going on, but it takes an immense amount of strength to identify those failings. David was subtly hinting that we must gather the courage to acknowledge suffering and troubles for what they are. Only then did David - and the Maccabees - pray to Hashem: and their prayers were answered. So it wasn’t that David was looking forward to more bad situations later on - instead he was proclaiming himself an active contributor to Tikkun Olam, by saying that he will make it his mission to find the Tzarah and sorrows in life, and, using the concepts that our nation holds dear, work to begin the process of bettering the world.
Comments