Through the looking glass:
“I’m a critic, a pessimist, and optimism does not fit in with my vocabulary.” - your negative nature
How many times do you think you have criticized yourself this week? How about this month? I’m sure more times than you can count. Why is this? It’s simple: you are experiencing the effects of human nature. I have my friends to thank for inspiring me through a “shiur” they had organized to create an honest and open platform for Jewish thought. In our most recent discussion a friend of mine touched on points most of us are likely aware of. Yet, I felt as if my understanding was deepening and expanding through this open- conversation experience where we all verbalized and expanded on this.
Confidence, some feel it is overrated, others feel the opposite. Personally, I think it is something we must constantly check up on within ourselves. The human psyche is deep, full of beautiful potential; that is why people spend years studying and researching it. We have all heard phrases along the lines of, “ hold your head high,” “Believe in yourself, you can do it!” and as we hear these sayings repeated, we begin to brush them off as cliches.Why is this topic important? I’m not a life coach and this is not a self help column.
With Rosh Hashanah having settled and Yom Kippur fast approaching, it can and may have recently been daunting to face the reality of what these holy days mean for us and what we are required to expect from ourselves. We judge ourselves according to severe standards, physical instances are easy to relate to because of the social constructs of our highly influential society, yet the idea of being highly critical can and probably is applicable to our spiritual self reflection as well.
Of course there are obvious distinctions between these two aspects of our being. It is easy to find physical and mental flaws about ourselves. The majority of us likely poses at least one mirror in our homes. Spiritually, we have different resources. We have the system of Halacha, we have our Rabbanim, role models, and each other for uplifting our spiritual presence. Although a goal we should be striving for is continuous spiritual reflection, it is not as simple as glancing at our physical appearances in a mirror, with a microscopic attitude. We can not see the “blemishes” we collect and burden our spiritual essence with. There is no looking glass to peek into our neshama’s needs.
Therefore, it is natural to lose sight of our spiritual goals, suddenly realize it is the month of Elul, and instantly feel the weight of the expectations that are entwined with these events. We can not deny our wrong doings. We must take responsibility for our actions by properly verbalising them, and go through the set process of teshuvah. Still, we must make sure that we do not succumb to guilt and fear to the extent that it paralyzes us. We are human, we are strong, we are dignified, yet we are also weak, and vulnerable.
I cannot claim G-D’s wants and perfect intentions for the essence of these holy days. However, I can say G-D is merciful, just, limitless, and all knowing. “Try your best,” is another phrase meant to uplift oneself. Let G-D do the judging and calculations. The looking glass is not the ideal tool. Have faith in your blessed potential and utilize it to tip the scales in your favor. May we all be blessed with a wonderful new year, filled with brachot, smachot, and ultimate clarity of G-D’s wisdom.
Shana Tova!!
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