This week in school we took time each day to include in our tefillot the special additions said during Aseret Yemei Teshuva - the Ten Days of Repentance. We held a special assembly for Hatarat Nedarim (the annulment of vows), complete with a three Rabbi Beit Din. We listened to the inspiring words of Rabbi Yaakov Laredo who reminded us that within each of us we have a piece of G-d. However, perhaps the most impactful activity we did was asking “mechila” from our classmates and friends. We read the passage from the Yom Kippur Machzor which explains that Hashem can only forgive us for the transgressions we have committed against Him but not the transgressions “Ben Adam L’Chavero”, between person to person. Only the person you have wronged may release you from the consequences of the transgression.
It is not easy to ask for forgiveness. It is not easy to admit that you may have done something wrong. The Jewish faith instills in us not only the need to do so, but the mechanism as well. We find the words to express our remorse in the Vidui and in the Al Chayt’s throughout the Yom Kippur davening. However, in order to do “teshuva” we must first own up to our responsibility. We cannot say it is someone else’s fault or that it was uncontrollable. We must recognize that the choice to do good is within our power.
In this week’s Parasha, Moshe Rabbenu, in his last sermon to the Nation of Israel, says
הַצּוּר֙ תָּמִ֣ים פָּעֳל֔וֹ כִּ֥י כָל־דְּרָכָ֖יו מִשְׁפָּ֑ט אֵ֤ל אֱמוּנָה֙ וְאֵ֣ין עָ֔וֶל צַדִּ֥יק וְיָשָׁ֖ר הֽוּא׃
The Rock! - His deeds are perfect, Yea, all His ways are just; A faithful God, never false, True and upright is He.
Moshe is telling the people - don't blame Hashem, you have to accept the responsibility for doing wrong. The wordteshuva means to return. It is we who have veered off of the righteous path - Hashem has not moved! It is up to us to come back, to return, to the path we have left. The word Chayt, חטא, means to miss the mark, to go astray. The Ten Days of Repentance are an opportunity for change, to straighten ourselves out and to start again.
Of course, every day we have the opportunity to change. We are human, we make mistakes. Our faith gives us the ability to make up for past indiscretions. By increasing our charity and our prayers we are working on changing ourselves. It is during these days leading up to Yom Kippur when we own up to our responsibilities. In the 1960’s there was a famous line “Love means never having to say your sorry”. How totally misguided that is...Love is always having to say you are sorry but even more importantly to mean it and not repeat whatever it was that was hurtful or simply wrong.
I asked the students to think about one personal thing they want to work on this year, to pick only one very specific attribute or action that they want to improve. What’s good for you is yours. You don’t have to be me - you have to be the best you. I try to do this every year. I have worked on my patience, my anger, my Kibud Av V’aym. This year, I am inspired by a book I read about a beloved Rebbie - Rabbi Dovid Trenk A’H, entitled Just Love Them. So this year, I hope to work on my ability to really see the good in all of the students. I actually do like them all - but as Rabbi Trenk said- I want to “Just Love Them”! What trait will you be working on?
Wishing everyone a Gmar Chatima Tova..a meaningful fast on Yom Kippur and may all your prayers be answered l’tovah.
Rochelle Brand, Ed.D
Head of School
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