Failure leads to success. What a strange concept to contemplate and even try to teach our children. We are usually guiding our children to believe that failure is not an option, that only superior grades, leadership positions and coming in first place in a race will ensure their happiness and success in their future endeavors. But this is simply not true! It is failing, not doing as well as we had hoped for, coming in second or third or even last place, which will spur us on to greater accomplishments.
We see this throughout history when we closely examine the lives of people we deem successful, accomplished leaders. If we study this week’s parsha, Va’era, we see that Moshe Rabbenu’s leadership skills were not honed by his instantaneous success, getting Pharoah to acquiesce to his demand of Let My People Go. Nor did Moshe have the backing of the Jewish nation to continue to encourage him to move forward with his mission. What he did have was courage and determination, predicated upon s’yata d’shmaya, Hashem's support.
Rabbi Jonathan Sacks, of Blessed Memory, (ע”ה), expounded on this idea and wrote “The great human beings are not those who never fail. They are those who survive failure, who keep on going, who refuse to be defeated, who never give up or give in. They keep trying. They learn from every mistake. They treat failure as a learning experience. And from every refusal to be defeated, they become stronger, wiser and more determined. That is the story of Moses’ life in both parshat Shemot and parshat Vaera.”
There are five reasons why failure is better than success (Nicole Purvey, Better Than Success). The reasons are:
1) Redirection- you learn that if plan A doesn’t work out, maybe there is a better plan. If you don’t try, you won’t accomplish anything. If you try and fail, you try again in a different way.
2) Opportunity- we believe that Hashem has a plan for us and that everything in life happens for a reason. Failure often brings out new opportunities. Failure is never the end; it’s only the beginning.
3) You get a “do -over” - Many times students ask if they can get a “do-over” for a quiz or test. I always allow them the chance to learn from their mistakes. In life there are indeed Do-Overs’ and we should always keep doing it over, and over again, until we reach our goal. And then set another goal for ourselves.
4) Courage- Failure leads to the development of courage. And courage to try something new, different, a step higher is what leads to success. Fear of failure can hold us back from making commitments in life, but if you have the courage to go out on that proverbial limb, you will know your strength, talents and abilities. Have the courage to test your mettle.
5) Growth - In order to grow in skills, knowledge and self confidence, you have to step out of your comfort zone. Sure, you may take a mis-step, you may fall down, but if you pick yourself up again you can learn to walk, to climb, to run and jump higher and higher.
In Mishlei it is written “A righteous man falls seven times, but rises again, .” (Proverbs 24:16).
Rav Yitzchak Hutner explains the verse as follows “Fools believe the intent of the verse is to teach us that the righteous man falls seven times and, despite this, he rises. But the knowledgeable are aware that the essence of the righteous man’s rising again is because of his seven falls”.
Moshe Rabbenu is indeed the prime example of failure leading to success. Moshe’s failures and setbacks are lessons for all of us to learn from. If at first you don't succeed, try and try again!
(Let’s keep this in mind as we view our daughters’ report cards coming out next week. Praise them for their accomplishments, and help them learn from their mistakes!)
Have a Shabbat Shalom
Chodesh Shvat Tov
Rochelle Brand, Ed.D
Head of School
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